Getting the best out of the swinger lifestyle

The One Event Drop-out Syndrome

The One Event Drop-out Syndrome is our name for a phenomenon we have witnessed many times over since starting Club Aphrodite in 1996. It happens when couples who are completely new to the swinger lifestyle take, or try to take, their first major step and fail to get the result they were hoping for.

In some cases the step can be as simple as joining a swinger club and then not plucking up the courage to attend any of its events. Or it can be the first attempt at swinger dating backfiring when the couple they were intending to meet fail to show up. Perhaps the most frequent example we came across was when a new couple actually attended their first sex party only to leave before things got warmed up and never attending another event. The most common excuse we would hear for this behaviour was that the couple had; "Waited all night for something to happen but it never did". We would even hear this excuse when the party was sexually active in virtually every room except wherever the couple were at any given time!

You Cant Get Swinging Without Pushing the Swing

Like most things in life, if you look for a reason for swinging not to work, you can be sure to find it. The One Event Drop-out swingers described above could generally be divided into two types of couples. One type are those who simply wanted to make swinging "fail" for them because either consciously or unconsciously, one or even both partners did not want to swing. The other type are those couples who have a basic desire to enjoy a swinging lifestyle but who have failed to realise that it takes quite a bit of courage and perseverance to get started.

There is of course no guidance or advice that can help the type of couple who are not genuinely ready to get into swinging other than to urge them to start listening to one another and accept that swinging only works when both partners are one hundred per cent up for it.

It is the second type that the following swinger-lifestyle success tips are aimed at.

Getting the Best Out of Swinger Dating

Any couple who is serious about wanting to get started on the swinger lifestyle will need to join an online swinger dating (or adult dating) site but just joining one is not enough. Putting some real effort in the creation of a winning profile will help but sitting back afterwards and waiting for other members to respond is also unlikely to be enough. To ensure success, the couple will need to take the driving seat in making contact with other swingers and to persevere at it even after taking a few inevitable knocks from the ones who don't turn up for dates or who turn out to be unsuitable or incompatible with their needs. They will also need to pluck up the courage to turn up for their first date and the resolve to see it through in a positive way.

Getting the Best Out Of Sex Parties

If it takes a lot of courage for many couples to turn up and see their first swinger date through in a positive and open minded manner, many find it takes even more nerve to go to a sex party for the first time. And even after having successfully dealt with the pre-party nerves, many couples lose it again within a few minutes of arriving. Think about it; even a friend's birthday party can seem a bit intimidating when you arrive and discover that the friend is the only person you know!
The way to overcome both the pre-party anxiety and the party nerves themselves is to realize that at any given sex party there will be at least a few and often more than a few, other newcomers who are feeling exactly the same way - if not worse!

Getting the Best Out of Swinger Clubs

Going to a swinger club is a very similar situation to attending a private sex party although some couples may feel a little more reassured because there is often a perception that events run by an organisation - as opposed to private individuals - can offer more security.

This is of course only a perception and the reality of swinger clubs is that they are more likely to add an extra layer of social anxiety to their events because like all other types of club, their regular patrons will tend to exhibit a certain amount of cliquey behaviour.
Here again, the only way to deal with these perfectly understandable first-timer nerves is to follow the advice on sex party attendance: i.e. feel the fear and do it anyway. but do so realising that you are most unlikely to be the only newcomers.

More Detailed Tips

You will find more detailed advice to help you to get the best from swinger dating, swinger party attendance and swinger clubs on several other pages of this web-site. Click here for a complete list of topic titles with links to each page.