Club Aphrodite
Keys to a Successful Swinger Lifestyle

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Swingers Eye Contact

Emotionally controlled, eye contact is one of the most valuable techniques a swinger can learn to use.
In this page, we explain what emotionally controlled eye contact is, introduce some basic pointers as to how to develop the technique and describe how to utilize it for successful outcomes in swinger dating and at sex party events.

What is Emotionally Controlled Eye Contact?

The eyes are where emotion is reflected from one person to another. People who are successful with other people are skilled in using their eyes to convey the emotions that they want to convey. They know how to control their emotions when talking to others and to create whatever mood is necessary to lead others where they want to take them.
Mastering this powerful interpersonal skill is probably the most important factor in attracting sexual partners. This makes it an essential skill to learn for anyone starting out on the swinger lifestyle.

Swingers Chat-Up Ritual

Most people who have never been to a sex party imagine that non-stop group sex takes place from the minute you walk in to the minute you leave. The reality is that at most sex parties swingers spend more time socialising than they do having sex. This means that swingers are engaged in a pre-sex, chat-up ritual that is every bit as important as the chat-up of conventional dating. In other words: if you get the chat up wrong you won't be bedding anyone! This is when the use of emotionally controlled eye contact can make all the difference.

Looking in the Mirror

The way to learn effective control over the emotions that are are reflected in your eyes is to use a mirror. Standing in front of your mirror, pretend you are an actor, learning different parts. For example, try to feel sad. Then look at your eyes in the mirror. Do the same with anger, love, seriousness, humour, anxiety, confidence, aggression, and every other mood that you can muster. Regular practise of this exercise should aim at being adept in reflecting emotions on demand.

Swinger Lifestyle Playfulness

Put emotionally controlled eye contact techniques into practice in swinger lifestyle situations, such as swinger dates and sex party socialising. This is achieved by cloaking the emotions that are not going to help your cause with ones that are. The moods you most need to hide are:

  • Shyness - a lack of self confidence is a real turn off and is particularly disastrous in men.
  • Seriousness - the person who conveys intensity and is too serious about everything is a big turn off to both sexes. Over intense people can also be taken for know-it-alls or boring boffin-types.
  • Aggression - Beware of confusing self-assuredness with aggression. In reality, aggressive behaviour is mainly an act of over compensation for a lack of self confidence.

The most important mood to convey is one of playfulness and so it is this one you use to cloak the ones you need to hide. Playfulness is not about wise cracking - stay well clear of that kind of chat-up, its a big time loser! It's about a feeling, a mood, an emotion. Playfulness is light-heartedness and the kind of humour that's highly infectious and just makes everything a giggle because it's the eyes that are giggling. Humour is an aphrodisiac and when two swingers share humour they are never far away from sharing their bodies.

Free swinger lifestyle eBook

This page is based on one of the sections of our invaluable swinger lifestyle guide: Keys to a Successful Swinger Lifestyle.
The full version is available as a FREE eBook to our members.

To order your free copy, complete and submit the request form