Club Aphrodite
Keys to a Successful Swinger Lifestyle

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Successful Swingers are Good Conversationalists

A successful swinger needs to be a good listener and able to make small talk.
The art of seduction begins with getting the other person to talk about themselves. The same applies in small talk with swinger couples, whether couple to couple or single to couple or couple to single.

Swingers Love Seductive Questioning

By asking questions you show that you have a genuine interest in the other person (or couple) but there is a big distinction between just asking questions like an interviewer - or worst still, an interrogator - and the seductive questioning used in the small talk of successful swinging encounters.
The key is to listen attentively to the responses you get. Pick up on their key phrases and respond to them with empathy and understanding.
For example, if you are at a sex party in a swinger club try asking;
"What other venues have you been to?"
The reply might be that this is their first ever sex party, in which case you can respond with genuine empathy and enthusiasm, born either of the memory of your first party, or by virtue of it also being your first time. Either way you will have established rapport and a bond of shared experiences just by asking one open question.
The question also neatly led to an opportunity to naturally divulge some background information about yourself. To have imparted the same information by just talking about yourself could easily have had a negative effect.
Had the reply to your original question been to name one or more other swinger clubs they had previously attended, you would still have been gifted opportunities to strike up rapport. Such a reply would naturally lead to you asking about the clubs they had attended and what they liked and disliked about them. Every possible answer to that sub-set of questions generates more opportunities to empathise and share experiences.

Use the Uncertainty Principle

One thing that most swingers have in common is their desire for adventure. The sense of venturing out into the unknown and having sex with a stranger is a key element of the swinger lifestyle. This is why something we have named the Uncertainty Principle works so well for swinger-dating and sex-party chat. The way the Uncertainty Principle works is to get the other person (or couple) wondering whether you're interested or not.
If you make it obvious you are interested, then you're just interested. If you're lucky and have everything else going your way, being interested might just lead to you getting the group-sex session you were making it obvious that you wanted. But there is also a good chance it might not.
If you give the impression that you are not interested, then the chances are you'll be considered as not being interested - even if you were faking the disinterest.
But if you can create and maintain, uncertainty in the other person's mind, you'll be tapping right into that basic swinger need for adventure. You will have presented yourself as an enigma and a challenge to be taken up. In other words you will have provided them with all the things they are most attracted to.

A Swingers Small Talk Killers

Whatever else you say or do when you are engaging in small talk at sex parties or on swinger dates, avoid these all-too-common small talk killers:

  • Don't give apply the third degree. Firing off one question after another is a definite way to blow any chance of building rapport.
  • Boastful talk. The braggart tells the other swingers where to find the best swinger clubs, how to get private invitations to certain parties, how good the Caribbean swinger holiday resorts are, and so on. That isn't the sort of talk people want to hear.
  • Talking about yourself and being too open. Even non-boastful talk should be avoided because when you open yourself up too much you are taking away the element of mystery. That's the very element which swingers love the most!
  • Getting straight to the sex. Just because swingers are meeting with you because they want to enjoy recreational sex, doesn't mean they don't enjoy being seduced. In fact, as stated earlier, the 'socialising' part of any sex party is the most significant part. Walking up to swingers and saying, "Fancy a threesome?" rarely achieves the desired goal.

Free swinger lifestyle eBook

This page is based on one of the sections of our invaluable swinger lifestyle guide: Keys to a Successful Swinger Lifestyle.
The full version is available as a FREE eBook to our members.

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