Club Aphrodite
Keys to a Successful Swinger Lifestyle

1
2
3
4
5
By submitting this form, you are agreeing to the terms of use.

How Swingers Use Body Language

The art of reading and responding to body language is an important one for swingers to master.
Body language generally conveys more than half of the communication which goes on between people in face to face situations. That being the case in everyday social and business communication, it follows that when an agenda is essentially a sexual one, an even larger chunk of the communication is conveyed by body language.

Swingers Sexual Body Language Signals

With so much communication being conveyed non-verbally in face to face meetings, it is essential for swingers to read the hidden and mainly unconscious signals of body language. It is equally important to know how to respond appropriately to them.
The key area of body language for swingers is Sexual Body Language. Sexual body language uses the following types of signal:

  • Eyes - Our swingers guide, Keys to a Successful Swinger Lifestyle discusses the topic of eye contact in detail and a summary of that section can be found on our web-site page entitled: Captivating eye contact for swingers
  • Preening - Its not just birds that preen. People do it too and so do swingers. Preening consists of gestures like tossing the head, brushing or twirling the hair with a hand, straightening clothes, flicking away some imaginary speck of dirt from clothing and so on. There are many other preening gestures but they are all conveying the same message: 'I want to look good for you'.
  • Enacting - Symbolically mimicking sexually stimulating activities. The stroking of an arm or a leg would be a common example of enacting. The swinger is either saying, 'I would like to stroke you in this way' or 'I would like you to stroke me in this way'.
    Women are using enactment when they lick their lips and leave their mouths open. Sometimes objects are used in enactment. A common example is the rolling and stroking of a wine glass.
  • Displaying - Parts of the body are emphasised or highlighted in some way. They can be thrust out, wiggled, or exposed. For the female swinger; the neck, armpits, legs, breasts, and bottom are key display areas. For male swingers the arms, legs, torso and especially the crotch are key.
  • Leaning The swinger leans towards the other person. The message being conveyed is, 'I want to be closer to you'. The response test is to check whether the other person leans away from them or towards them. Leaning doesn't have to be a whole body action. It can be something quite innocent-seeming such as a head tilt. It is often combined with intense listening, implying more intimacy.
  • Pointing - A swinger who is interested in swinging with you may subtly point at you with their foot, arm, head or even their knee. This is the equivalent of saying that they want to move in the direction you are leading.
  • Microexpressions - these are brief facial movements such as the raising of eyebrows or the twitch of a smile. They present clues about the other person's underlying emotions and are more difficult to notice than any of the other signals described above. With practice however, it is possible to attune oneself to picking up on them.

Body Language at a Sex Party

When you engage in conversations with other swingers at a sex party you need to be able to distinguish between social chatting and sexual chatting. A lot of people, especially swinger couples, get almost as much enjoyment from the socialising aspect of swinger events as they do from the sexual one.
Kitchens and bar areas are favourite places at sex party venues for meeting and chatting. Many of the conversations that take place in these areas can go on for most of the evening without leading to sex.
Newcomers to the swinger lifestyle need to be especially aware of this to prevent the evening slipping past them without ever getting around to any sexual activity. They can do this by mastering the art of watching out for and responding to the sexual body language signals described above. Noticing any signals within the first ten minutes of a conversation strongly indicates that you a talking to people who are wanting you to reciprocate by confirming your interest in being their swing-partner. The absence of any of these signals within a similar period of time should be seen as a reason to move on to chat with someone else. Sometimes you will even pick up negative signals that should always be responded to by withdrawing and moving on. This subject is addressed in our Keys to a Successful Swinger Lifestyle, section entitled What Else Means No.

Free swinger lifestyle eBook

This page is based on one of the sections of our invaluable swinger lifestyle guide: Keys to a Successful Swinger Lifestyle.
The full version is available as a FREE eBook to our members.

To order your free copy, complete and submit the request form