Club Aphrodite
Keys to a Successful Swinger Lifestyle

1
2
3
4
5
By submitting this form, you are agreeing to the terms of use.

Swinger Couples
Small Talk and Flirting

Couples can learn how to enhance their swinger lifestyle experiences by mastering the art of irresistible small talk and swinger flirting skills.
Although the essence of swinger flirting and small talk is the same for couples and singles, the way it is applied in couple to couple communication is different from the way it is applied when singles are dating on a one-to-one basis.

Swinger Dating Flirting

For most couples who enjoy the swinger lifestyle, the best way to start contacting and meeting other swingers is through swinger dating. The rendezvous for first meetings is usually arranged in a neutral place, rather than in someone's home. This almost invariably means that the rendezvous is in public view at a pub, restaurant or club, for example. This significantly affects the nature of the flirting that can take place.
The type of flirting that can take place at a swinger club or sex party is discussed further on and can include very explicit sexual conversation or even sexually explicit actions. In the restricted environment of a public place, the flirting is more subtle.
Unlike one-to-one small talk and flirting, a swinger couple who are communicating with another couple has to choose who to direct their communication at.

    The choices are:
  • The same sex partner of the other couple, (e.g. female to female)
  • The opposite sex partner (e.g. male to female)
  • Or to both partners of the other couple at the same time.(e.g. female to both partners)
Some pre-meeting planning is required. Couples need to decide which partner is going to take the lead in the small talk and flirting. This really ought to be the female. Firstly because females are instinctively better at relaxing and reassuring people. Secondly, their flirting is naturally more seductive. And thirdly a swinger-couple male who does most of the talking can easily raise suspicions that the female is only 'playing along' and may not be completely genuine about wanting to swing.
Having got the general strategy agreed before the meeting, the couple can use the same techniques of small talk and flirting that we have detailed in the section on swinger conversational skills and elsewhere in Keys to a Successful Swinger Lifestyle. The essential difference is to apply them in the couple partner combinations described above. The amount of time spent communicating in each of these combinations will depend on several factors. If for example, the bi-sexuality of the other couple's female is clearly a dominant factor of the relationship and the desire to swing, it would make sense to spend a significant proportion of time in female to female communication. Another type of example where female to female chat becomes the most important could be when a hint of distrust or even jealousy has been picked up from the other woman. Its all about listening carefully, reading the signs and adjusting the choice of who to direct communication to as appropriate. Also, don't forget that one combination does not exclude another taking place at exactly the same moment. In couple small talk it is quite normal and natural to have two females chatting away about one thing at the same moment the two males are chatting about something else!

Sex Party Small Talk and Flirting

Flirting and small talk at sex parties follows the same essential guidelines for couples but offers an extra dimension. This is the opportunity to use the kind of overtly sexual communication that would go beyond what is acceptable to society in public places.
It is true you can get away with an awful lot of overtly sexual chat in public these days and many swingers actually enjoy pushing it to its limits and watching the shocked faces of those that overhear or see something not normally seen in a pub, restaurant or night-club. However, a line is drawn somewhere especially when it comes to revealing and using the body to communicate flirtatiously.

Sexually Explicit Swinger Flirting

More adventurous couples, especially those with an exhibitionist tendency, use a very sexually explicit form of flirting.
Such couples have their female partners very scantily dressed or might even be naturist swingers with both partners being naked. The women's revealing costumes or the couples' nudity allows easy access to sexual parts of the body and this is needed for the most explicit form of swinger flirting.

    Here is a typical example of this kind of flirting taking place at a sex party:
  • The couple are standing in a corner of the lounge talking to another couple. He is wearing an open neck shirt and trousers. His partner is dressed in a short see-through dress with only a minuscule g-string on underneath it. As they talk to the other couple, the male slides his hand up his partner's dress, letting his finger wander around the perimeter of the tiny triangle of the g-string.
    The woman responds with a seductive smile that is directed with strong eye contact at the other female. Her eyes slowly move from the woman's to meet her partner's eyes with a steady, almost expressionless gaze. She holds this for some time before looking back at the other female again.
    A little later on, a further example of explicit swinger flirting may take place when the couple reverse roles:
  • This time, it is the woman who reaches out to the man. She slowly undoes the buttons of his shirt and strokes his stomach whilst he engages in conversation with the other couple as if nothing is happening.

There are many variations of this kind of explicit body language and nothing is taboo although when the touching is taken to a very advanced state and sexual arousal takes over from controlled communication, it is most likely that the flirting will have succumbed to the actual commencement of the group-sex.

Free swinger lifestyle eBook

This page is based on one of the sections of our invaluable swinger lifestyle guide: Keys to a Successful Swinger Lifestyle.
The full version is available as a FREE eBook to our members.

To order your free copy, complete and submit the request form