Club Aphrodite
Keys to a Successful Swinger Lifestyle

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Swinger Lifestyle U.C.S.

U.C.S. is short for the Unconscious Communication Signals that people use. In the context of the swinger lifestyle, U.C.S. are an important part of communication signalling things like interest, attraction, desire etc. U.C.S. is especially significant when swingers meet for the first time, as they do when swinger dating or attending swinger clubs and sex parties.

It is important for both singles and couples who are new to the swinger lifestyle, to be able to recognise unconscious communication signals and respond appropriately to them.

Female and couple-female swingers

Males (whether single or part of a swinger couple) need to be able to recognise the U.C.S. that female swingers use (whether the female partner of a couple or single). It is important to realise that an isolated incidence of any U.C.S. may not have meaning. Significance should only be attached to them when they are signalled in what we refer to as 'clusters'. Watching out for clusters of U.C.S. is therefore one of the most important observations to make during conversations such as those which take place when swinger dating.

Eye contact

Eye contact is probably the U.C.S. that everyone knows about. Lack of eye contact is pretty damming evidence that a woman is not interested in you but remember to disregard the isolated incidences; it would be a strange person who maintained eye contact for the full duration of a conversation! If a woman refuses eye contact when you look her in the eye or consistently fails to hold eye contact for more than a second or so, it's probably time to draw the date to end. The more eye contact she gives you and the longer it lingers, the more certain you can be that she is interested in swinging with you. Looking away with a slight eyelash flicker is often a good additional sign. If her pupils are dilated, the chances are she is very interested in you and already becoming aroused by the prospect of having sex with you.

Lips and mouth gestures

A woman's mouth and lips are frequently used to indicate sexual intention and desire. When you see her licking or moistening her lips it is time to try to move the date to the next stage. For ideas on how to do this, please refer to the page about closing strategies.

Hair flicking

Flicking hair is another U.C.S. Again, care in observation needs to be taken to distinguish a one-off flick which may be due to an itch and repetitious flicking. Hair flicking is a flirtatious gesture and a strong indication of sexual attraction.

Shoe manoeuvres

The dangling of a shoe is another strong U.C.S. to watch out for. At the very least, the manoeuvre is telling you that she feels at ease to be with you but it is likely to be indicating more than this. She might even partially remove the shoe, in which case she is probably signalling her desire to undress in your presence. On a swinger date or at a sex party, this is a strong enough signal for you to move into closure mode.

Object stroking

Women who are experiencing sexual attraction often use objects such as wine glasses to convey their desire. Sensual stroking of the stem of the glass is a common example but watch out for her utilizing other handy objects in this way. When she does she is almost certainly ready for you to move into closure mode.

Male (or couple-male) swingers

Males generally give fewer unconscious communication signals than females. It is thought that this is mainly due to biological differences. Some U.C.S. is common to males and females. The main one being eye contact. When men make direct and prolonged eye contact with women they are indicating their interest and attraction. On a swinger date, a man who keeps avoiding eye contact is at the very least, feeling uncomfortable or nervous about you. Such a man is hardly likely to make a good swing playmate for you; even if at a deeper level, he does feel attracted to you.

His stance

A man's stance can be a good indication of his true feelings towards you. An open posture with his shoulders back and head up is likely to indicate that he is both interested and confident. It is also a stance that is indicative of dominance and strength; qualities that most women find appealing.

Directional posture also provides information. If a man is seated with his upper body pointing towards you, he is most likely attracted to you. If on the other hand, you observe him repeatedly turning away and pointing the upper body, legs or face away from you, he is either disinterested in you or feels uncomfortable in your presence. Neither conclusion suggests that he will be much fun as a swinger playmate, so you will probably want to excuse yourself from the date at this stage.

Male preening

It's not only females who preen themselves - as in the hair flicking example above; males do it too. When you observe the man you are meeting for a first-time swinger date fixing his tie or making other small, 'appearance-improvement' manoeuvres, it is a pretty safe bet that he fancies you.

Swingers need to get the balance right

U.C.S. is an important aspect of human social and sexual interaction that swingers need to be aware of. Without awareness and observation, it is surprisingly easy to come away from a swinger party or date feeling let down, rejected or otherwise disappointed with its outcome. However, it is possible to read too much into U.C.S. if they are regarded in isolation of other signals. The swinger needs to find the balance between these two extremes. Jumping too quickly to conclusions can lose a potential swing playmate almost as easily as not observing or disregarding the signs. The answer is to watch out for repeated patterns of U.C.S. and to observe them in conjunction with good listening.
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